Steven Gerrard Sacked as Youth Team Coach

Gerrard Disappointed

Steven Gerrard has been sacked from his position at Melwood Academy. The former Liverpool captain was only appointed Youth Team Coach this week, but the club have confirmed that his contract has been terminated by mutual consent.

Slip

Gerrard“I take full responsibility,” the Anfield legend told Soccer on Sunday. “One of the Under 9s has made a smart comment about a slip, and before I know it I’ve booted him up the hole. I guess I’d been bottling up all the frustration from the Chelsea game in 2014, and now it’s come flooding out on this poor lad’s arse. I can only apologise.”

“It’s out of character,” added Gerrard. “I haven’t booted anyone up the hole since Sturridge ruled himself out of a cup semi with heartburn. And before that? You’d have to go back to the time Benitez tried to sell Xabi Alonso. It wasn’t well documented, but I fractured Rafa’s tailbone with a scissor-kick.”

“I almost connected too well,” said Gerrard. “Maybe the goal against West Ham in the FA Cup final was better, but the gaffer’s arse comes close. I had to pry my boot out from between his cheeks.”

Klopp

KloppFirst team coach Jürgen Klopp believes that Gerrard will learn from the experience.

“Stevie has time,” the German told Soccer on Sunday. “I booted a 7 year old girl up the arse when I was starting out. This is normal at the beginning, for any manager. But you learn when to boot, when not to boot, who to boot, who not to boot. Children, I would place in the last category.”

“Does anybody think I wouldn’t love to boot Divock Origi?” added Klopp. “Let’s be serious. I’d boot him every day if I could.”