Birmingham Sack Redknapp After Bung Sting

Redknapp tape

Birmingham City have sacked Harry Redknapp after the Londoner was filmed by undercover reporters discussing transfer bribes. The Blues only appointed Redknapp on Tuesday having parted company with Gianfranco Zola, but now find themselves managerless again after less than 12 hours.

Townsend

Redknapp in car“I can bring in the boy Andros Townsend from Palace,” Redknapp is filmed telling two undercover reporters from The Daily Mail. “Big Sam owes me a favour. I helped him shift a 40-foot container of moody smoke alarms last summer. The ones on the news, that kept bursting into flames? That was us. Nice little earner.”

“Sam knows the score,” said the former Spurs manager. “I’ll sweet talk the board into buying that big steaming pile of donkey shite Townsend for a mill or two. Sam gets a little taste, I wet my beak, we throw a monkey Terry Venables’ way out of respect, bish bash bosh, give a dog a bone, lovely jubbely.”

“Cushdy,” added Redknapp.

Poppycock

Big Sam StingSam Allardyce has denied any knowledge of Redknapp’s scheme.

“Pure poppycock,” the Palace manager told Soccer on Sunday. “I’d use a much stronger word if I wasn’t in company, like bollocks or fanny. Harry’s a dear friend of mine, but his imagination runs away with him when he’s been at the crack pipe. No, my days of accepting bungs went out with the 7th generation IPOD.”

“And there’s now’t illegal in flogging a few dodgy smoke alarms,” added the former England manager. “Those little critters were a steal. What better way to let you know there’s a problem than by setting your house on fire? Folks today don’t know they’re born.”